a little bit of a bigger task

Happy Easter!  It’s a beautiful day here.. probably about 65 degrees and definitely sunny.   

 

The magnolia tree has blossomed over this week, you could practically see it grow.. now the birch trees are looking like they have a light green aura as their leaves are starting to emerge.  These past few weeks have been intense. The painting with the yippies (the loving term that we have for the people attending the YIP program) was amazing.  It’s as if they capitalized on the previous years and therefore trusted the process.

 

 It’s now a day later.  There was a conversation needed that couldn’t wait.  We hosted a conference here all last week and the last couple of people are leaving today, so there has been a lot of request for conversation and questions.  Typically I have struggled with conferences, whether feeling left out or not interested but this Initiative Forum was different.  The first difference probably is that I’ve learnt that there is something in my star chart that makes me feel left out of groups, and since I’ve learnt that I don’t take that feeling so seriously anymore and it frees me up to join in the groups that I wish I were a part of.  Most of the time that works perfectly! Another thing that distinguished this conference was the design, which included not only inspirational lecturers but also ‘open space’.  Open space is a method where the participants bring the content and there are some guiding principles that leave you invited to join in where you are moved, and encouraged to leave if you are not moved.  So many conversations, connections and inspirations that I want you to know, but seriously I don’t even have the words for some of the moments.  Check out the web site (http://initiativeforum.yip.se/).  I think the lectures are coming so you can actually hear them!  And one of the biggest gifts was the performance by Matre (http://www.mcmatre.com/main.html)  he speaks wisdom bigger than words, gets the whole room moving, grooving, jumping and I left feeling inspired, brave and more capable than when I entered.

Alright … baby steps for now.. I have more to tell you .. for now I just gotta get into a rhythm of letting the blog flow.. and off to a fine organic dinner I go!  Lots o love <3

little bit about where i am...

So here i am in lovely Ytter Jarna Sweden.  There are still patches of snow lingering  both on the fields and in the ponds, yet every day it stays light a little longer and the buds on the trees  are starting to swell in the excitement of approaching spring.  Yesterday a blanket of clouds hung low and hugged in, rain and wind echoing the chills of winter.  And today started off the same way, but finally the sun seems to have won the epic tug and war between winter and spring.  At moments shining bright enough for me to leave my coat as i adventured out.  

What brought me to Sweden is a most amazing progam called the Youth Initiative Program (http://www.yip.se.   I live in a house with twenty something young people.  I have a room with its own bathroom in the top corner of the house where i can hide away when i don't want to be in the thick of it and there are two common kitchens for food and company.  I am teaching yoga in a big room in the white house (yup, sounds like a big deal place!) every weekday at 7 am (yes, a big deal :)).   This week  i am teaching a painting class in an old red building called the Magasinet .. it's across a big field (or along a path through a maze of ponds).   the Magasinet is divided up into 6 different rooms, although we are only using the top floor this year i feel a little like an art gerbil as i run  circles up and down  in response to my name.  ( a delighted and happy art gerbil, mind you). 

I was so distracted by the delightful and gorgeous golden light that I forgot to take a picture till just after the sun set .. this is about 8pm..  in the distance you can see the Magasinet ..and the corner you see is the building that i am staying in. 
For now, that's all.. lots o love to you !

Before i sat down to write i had so many ideas running through my  head i envisioned blogging and blogging till the wee hours of the night.. Yet here i sit not sure where to begin, what to say or why i should be writing a blog at all...

So one question at a time:

I guess i started... so that now answered, can be forgotten.

The what to say part is really the crux of the matter and probably will never fully be answered as the answer has flux and flow, one form and then another, ad infinitum... and time will tell.

So why?   That has a couple different answers.. One is that as i set out on this journey people have asked me to keep them in the know.  This part is challenging because i habitually have gone on adventures and enjoyed disappearing, unplugging from the usual and saving my stories for the next time we meet.  Another habit i've noticed is hiding in my openness.. You know, if you are really open about a lot of things most won't guess what you're hiding, or where you won't let them in..  In fact, as i have been mulling over the question of whether to write or not i have bumped into paradoxes in the way i want to be.  On one hand i claim and strive for transparency but at the same time i fear being really out there all flawed and imperfect. I want to be brutally open and honest but i can hear my dad say i share too much, and  why write if i don't want one of my favorite people to read it?    Also, i am pretty sure that the stuff i want to write about is not really what people asking for my blog want to know.. but then again who i am to decide what you want?  Another reason i am starting this is because for too long i have been talking about writing and not doing so.  and through writing i want to get better at it.  I want to see if some of the ideas that people say i should write about actually can find their way through.    So to hell with my habit of hiding,  and hurray for the awkwardness, i am going to blog to see where i go!