a different kind of magic

Monday, May 16, 2022

Dear Bearers of Light,

Early in my morning and in all of our last 24 hours, there was a full lunar eclipse. Lunar eclipses happen when the earth blocks the light of the sun and dresses the full moon up with her shadow. Every month the full moon is a celebration of illumination and completion, so lets explore todays celestial message and illuminate the shadow of the eclipse, discovering insight in darkness. Darkness always has something to show you. Think of the night sky. Your face turns upward to swim in the depths that hold and contain the varying bodies of light, the stars. you may even try to shield your eyes from any distracting light to see the stars better. Notice how we can nearly feel the signature twinkle of the stars in your chest, or seemingly hear an echo of their stellar pulses in your head. Even if you have only ever see the few brightest stars hovering over city lights you may catch yourself responding physically. Of course we are more familiar with the brightness of the one sun star, who lifts our moods and can make us strip or the other wondrous luminescence of the moon who can bath an entire evening in romance, but the stars are the ones that seem to wink and glitter like they have secrets to tell us and will explain magic someday! Artists that we are, we can mimic the effect of a starry night using a dark solidish material, prick holes in it and then cover a window in the day time. Tadaaa! The narrow tiny shafts of sun light become the sparkling expanse of stars. It could look the same, especially if we squint our eyes, but this is backwards from the night sky. While the pin pricks are the empty spaces light shines through in the material, the stars are the source of light, the something, surrounded by so much nothingness it appears as darkness! Often I muse about how we are universes turned inside out, each one of us. I picture our divinely perfect and crude material body sculpted out of everything found on earth and then, like turning a shirt inside out, the stars and planets fold inwards moving through the impossible and we are born. We find the Sun in our heart, fuelling our life! We discover Mercury dancing with our breath and words, Venus quietly rooting in our kidneys and balancing everything, simultaneously Mars and Jupiter conspiring for our greatness by throwing forth passions, reactions, plans and impulses to shape our path! If you haven’t noticed your celestial insides yet, maybe its time to take a moment and look again.

At first when we close our eyes to pray, meditate or just go within it can appear dark. Sit with it, and similar to your eyes adjusting to the night sky, your inner eyes, your witness, starts to see more over time, and what may have first appeared like a solid impenetrable block is not solid, but space and darkness so you can see all the small sources of light you contain, your radiant source of being-ness, your twinkling source of becoming and sparkle of endless possibilities.

Trust yourself, respect yourself, stay with your darkness and discover your light. You are always becoming, you are always a source. Even when the earth casts a shadow, you can be the light in the dark!

Love, Rachel

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Dear Friends,

Sometimes it’s tiering to always have different opinions than others and feel different about things and, well I guess, just be different. Being different than people expect you to be, different than people wish you were and different than most, starts to feel lonely and hopeless. Its easy to blame our struggles on our differences but hard to suppress our uniqueness and still find connection. While some of us seem wildly different, we all have unique finger prints, one of a kind irises and even a signature heart beat, we all are individuals, we bear the essence of something new the world has never seen before. It’s a responsibility. In light of that it’s no wonder we all experience our differentness, and continue to find differences in the rough edges between us and the world. Rather than just thinking about smoothing out our own edges or changing the world to suit us, what if we search for ways to weave together and integrate these edges into a fertile lattice of creativity and resilience? That way instead of just thinking of ourselves as the isolated special ones in need of perfection we start recognising how much we contribute to each other’s becoming, how much we create when we make new agreements and collaborations and how much life we restore when we use the hard stinky stuff to fertilise new ideas rather than ignoring it and hoping it will disappear! By no means is this the path of a coward, quite the opposite. It’s time we stop imagining the opposite is always a hero the opposite of cowardice could be boldly making things beautiful despite the wars in the world, it could be advocates standing up for each other’s rights, people who protect land and water, and communities who are brave together honouring peace.

Time changes humanity not only in technological progress but in the sacred evolution of the human being. In the history of our becoming we have exalted and exhausted the plight of the hero’s journey to discover the jewels of individualism. Instead of revealing a humanity sparkling in their unique gifts and services for each other we have inadvertently unleashed a tidal wave of greed, together creating an arena where every individual is prompted to fight for their needs, their desires and their well being over everything else. While some still march to their higher ideals, morality and/or sense of service, our collective agreements perpetuate rewarding greed, speed and power over vision, contemplation and honour. Perhaps there are still gems to be uncovered through the classic story of the individuals’ plight to become themselves against all odds and hardships but lets start complimenting this model with one of bridge making, healing and regenerating life. What could this look like? Thats the kicker isn’t it?! I can’t just tell you, you can’t just tell me, we have to actually create it together. No one person can present a finished picture of how we can do this, but wondering about what the human being is, honouring nature and the being-ness of the whole earth, and/or committing to truth, kindness, life, and beauty all start to lay a foundation for a future that has room for every difference. If we depend on our heroes to make the world for us then we just have to keep finding new enemies for them to battle while we lament all the suffering, instead if we treat our gift of individuality as a responsibility rather than an isolating burden then we can respond by asking ‘how can my differences become gifts for the world?’ ‘ What future is possible through our collaboration?’ ‘What has been planted in me that belongs to supporting life in the future?’ ‘What live in me that is a jewel for your becoming?’ These same questions we ask of ourselves could also create a lens to look at all the different people with their ever challenging differences, what happens when we carry this wonder and questions diligently as we bump into another’s rough edges? What could happen if instead of fighting we ask and wonder ‘what needs to happen now to create more beauty, love and life in the world’?

with lots of love, Rachel

Monday, April 11, 2022

Christianity and Buddhism

Dear Seekers of Love, Light, and Truth,

When my dad was visiting last summer he told me that he was a Buddhist, a Hindu and Christian! Needless to say I was a little surprised and pleasantly woken up. See my father is a priest for the Christian Community and has been since I was 7. The Christian Community is a nondenominational church that was founded with the help of Rudolf Steiner and has the tag line ‘a movement for religious renewal’. While the traditional story of a preachers daughter is usually about rebellion and wildness, mine was that and at the same time a story love. As the first born daughter in my family I grew up very much ‘daddy’s little girl’ and loved everything connected to my dad. One early memory is when we were living in Germany my dad was explaining how American peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were and even though I didn’t like it right away, I worked on liking it because I wanted to be more American, more like my dad. Oddly enough while I had to work at liking peanut and jelly sandwiches, I always and immediately loved being in church. There were these great smells of incense and candles, there were usually good feeling rooms in atmospheric colors because of the veil painted walls and to this day whenever I walk into a Christian Community Church I feel a little like I’m coming home. As a teenager, after my confirmation at fourteen, I started to realise that amongst my peers religion was not a cool thing, especially Christianity. Of course I still liked telling people my dad was a priest because it would confuse and shock them and I would have a chance to show off how smart I was and explain the difference between a priest and a pastor or minister and sometimes even the difference between catholicism and the christian community. But I get distracted, back to the topic at hand!

In the yoga community I often find myself around more Buddhist than Christians and, of course, all sorts of other expressions of spirituality and ritual. One of my most influential yoga teachers taught out of a Tibetan Buddhist lineage and it was during one of her classes I was asked to visualise my teacher. She didn’t necessarily mean herself and I have no idea who other people visualised, but a clear picture showed up for me. The whole image was glowing and green, it was Christ sitting in lotus position with one hand raised in ‘fear not’ mudra and the other hand open in a ‘welcome’ mudra. It was so strong and it sang to my heart, I knew this is my forever teacher. Part of why my dad’s statement was so awakening was because it suddenly allowed for all of me. Since then I have studied more and learnt about connection between Buddhism and Christianity and other religions that we so religiously try to keep separate, fleshing out a story of collaboration and destiny. In our modern times it is our task to find humanity in each other not as a source to justify division but to confirm our belongingness to each other and the earth.

If you are hungry to explore spirituality as part of your becoming don’t fear that you will alienate others through your chosen path, with sincere study your will only find more connections. In that vein I want to invite you to a retreat my partner is hosting here in Järna where I will be teaching a wee bit of yoga. I am including a flyer below and some links to explore, but very simply put this stream of Buddhism that he is engaged with is ancient and modern, celebrating the traditions of Buddhism while lifting up the long neglected feminine aspects, figures and elements.

Wether you heart leads you to uncover your spirituality through Buddhism, Christianity, or Nature, our practice on the mat strengthens our body to bare our spirit so we may fervently pursue our hearts desire. This week I am offering one zoom class because of many guests in and out of our home and its a vacation week here. Take this opportunity to explore these links below and/or visit and subscribe to my youtube channel :) May your endeavours be fruitful, and I look forward to meeting you on the mat!

with so much love, Rachel